From velvety specimens to ‘watery’ experiences, Nicholas Jordan has the inside scoop on ice-cream tubs – the good, the bad, and the simply vanilla
W hen I was a kid I thought vanilla was the “original” flavour. As in, I thought that was just what ice-cream tasted like before chocolate, hazelnuts, caramel or whatever else was added. I don’t think I’m alone. Ice Cream Container With Lid
Through a complex story involving colonisation, peacocking European aristocrats and Thomas Jefferson, vanilla has become, along with chocolate, Australia’s most popular supermarket ice-cream flavour. There is no better proof than the fact almost every supermarket brand has a vanilla version – even though real vanilla, from “beans” (they are technically fruits) of the vanilla orchard, is so expensive it’s hardly ever used in ice-cream.
What’s used instead is either vanilla extract (you may have a little bottle of this in your pantry) made by scraping vanilla seeds from the fruit/bean then soaking them in alcohol; or a flavour known as vanillin, the naturally occurring compound found in vanilla that can be synthetically produced. Some imitation vanilla is also made from the near-anal secretions of beavers (this isn’t a joke, the wood munchers ooze beautifully fragrant goo from a gland near their rectum) but you’re unlikely to find that in Australian ice-creams – it’s more common in the perfume industry.
As vanilla seeds have more aroma compounds than vanillin, they give more depth of flavour. But because costs restrict the amount of vanilla that can be used, products with extract or vanillin can have a more powerful, if more one-dimensional, flavour.
My thinking is, any ice-cream producer using high quality vanilla is going to be using good quality ingredients in all their ice-creams. Vanilla is a good baseline – if it’s great, or not so great, it might indicate their overall approach.
To find the best and worst tubs of supermarket vanilla ice-creams, I tried nine different brands, and asked two gelato makers I consider among the best in Sydney: Sean O’Brien, the co-owner of Ciccone & Sons, and Matteo Pochintesta, the owner of Mapo, to help judge.
We scored each tub primarily based on taste. As there wasn’t much textural variety (none of the products had glaring textural faults, like iciness), texture and appearance only accounted for a small portion of the final averaged score. For authenticity, we ate them straight out of the tub, like three kids at a sleepover party.
Kāpiti Vanilla Bean 1 litre, $7.99 from Aldi ($0.79 per 100ml)
Some of the ice-creams we tried had little to no perceivable vanilla flavour. Others tasted like candy, caramel or those weird yoghurt chips you get in low-quality muesli. Kāpiti was one of the few tubs with no flavour surprises, it tasted exactly like what it is. Real cream and milk gives a rich, velvety texture and, while real vanilla doesn’t give a huge flavour, it does give a bit of depth – almost a nuttiness, for me. If you’re wondering how an ice-cream containing vanilla seeds can be so cheap, pick it up. If you whip enough air into an ice-cream, you’ll get a lot more volume but far less density, which based on its weight, is what’s happening here.
Streets Blue Ribbon Classic Vanilla 2 litres, $6.50 from Coles or Woolworths ($0.33 per 100ml)
Before we started the taste test, I said to O’Brien and Pochintesta: “Don’t be too hypercritical on ingredients or technicalities, just judge the ice-creams based on how enjoyable they are.” So although there is literally no vanilla listed in the ingredients, we all gave this passing scores on taste. O’Brien said it was more “milky” than anything, and I’m almost certain there’s a flavour additive that gives this a one-note caramel flavour. Texture-wise, it scored even better. Even though it’s seems to be whipped with an absurd amount of air to increase its volume, a misfit choir of vegetable gums, emulsifier, gelatine and unspecified dairy products (the ingredients list includes “reconstituted buttermilk and/or reconstituted skim milk, cream … milk solids” – who puts “and/or” in their ingredients?) they somehow combine in creamy harmony. To me, this tastes like childhood.
Van Diemens Land Creamery Vanilla Bean 500ml, $12.99 from Harris Farm ($2.60 per 100ml)
Of all the ice-creams this was the most complex experience. The vanilla seeds – visible black specks – give an earthy aftertaste not found in any of the other tubs. Overall, it scored second on flavour but what brought it down was the grainy texture. With every other mouthful, I crunched on a sandy grain I can only assume was an undissolved sugar crystal. I didn’t mind but Pochintesta thought this was unforgivable, particularly considering the award badges on the packaging – and the fact it’s one of the most expensive options in the supermarket.
Connoisseur Classic Vanilla 1 litre, $12 from Coles or Woolworths, ($1.20 per 100ml)
If you’re looking for dense, creamy and texturally rich ice-creams, check the percentage of dairy ingredients and the total fat content – the higher, the better. It shows in Connoisseur, a creamy, almost chewy ice-cream with a particularly dairy-heavy flavour. I thought it was one of the sweeter brands but there is at least a moderate presence of vanilla. That Connoisseur, a brand I’ve previously trash talked, comes in fourth place says a lot about the average quality of supermarket ice-creams.
Häagen-Dazs Vanilla, 457ml, $13.50 from Coles or Woolworths, ($2.95 per 100ml)
If you want a clear example of how much air is whipped into cheap ice-cream, hold this in one hand and either Blue Ribbon or Monarc Silver Scoop in the other. It’ll feel as though Häagen-Dazs is made from blended bricks. Unlike the Danish-sounding name, which was made up by the brand’s founders, there is nothing fake about this. The ingredients list is predominantly fresh cream with egg yolk, making this not only an extremely dense, creamy and dairy-forward ice-cream, but also extremely expensive. After just a spoon or two, it felt as though it was coating my entire mouth. While the vanilla flavour is very light, it’s also quite sweet. It would have scored higher if the top of the ice-cream didn’t look to me like a slice of commercial sandwich cheese. Decent but not worth the price.
Bulla Creamy Classics Vanilla 2 litres, $11 from Coles or Woolworths, ($0.55 per 100ml)
Whatever is providing the caramel flavour in Streets Blue Ribbon is absolutely flaunting itself in this Bulla tub. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, particularly if you’re seven years old, but this is a vanilla ice-cream and it tasted to me as though it had about the same vanilla content as a car tyre. It’s very soft, which is good for efficient scooping, I guess? It gets a pass for being extremely kid-friendly.
Bulla Murray St Ice Creamery Vanilla Bean 1 litre, $12 from Woolworths, ($1.20 per 100ml)
O’Brien and Pochintesta and I shared similar opinions on all the ice-creams – except this one. Pochintesta gave it a 3 out of 5 on flavour – although sweet it was buttery, almost custardy. As it reminded me of the plasticky yoghurt chips you find in joyless mueslis, I gave it a 2 out of 5; O’Brien gave it a 1. It was also very sweet. And despite the visible specks of vanilla seeds, I had to use my imagination to taste the vanilla flavour.
Lick Ice Cream Vanilla Bean, 920ml, $14.99 from Harris Farm, ($1.63 per 100ml)
I’m confused by this ice-cream. At 14g of sugar per 100g, it has by far the lowest sugar content of all the ice-creams we tasted but we all found it too sweet. I’d say it has a lingering honey-like sweetness, which is particularly confusing considering the ingredients panel lists just cream, gelatin, stabiliser, sugar, eggs and vanilla. Even though it scored marks for being dense, creamy and having a good hint of vanilla, it scored low on taste.
Monarc Silver Scoop Creamy Vanilla 2 litres, $5.49 from Aldi, ($0.27 per 100ml)
Ice Cream Tubs The worst ice-cream of the day, easily. Pochintesta said it was “watery” and criticised the flavour for disappearing so quickly. O’Brien said it was too sweet, artificial in flavour, and guessed it might be more than 60% air (which would explain the ridiculously low price tag). I thought it tasted like a bottom-of-the-barrel brand of lolly. Avoid any ice-cream that lists water as the second most prominent ingredient, unless your priority is to have an easy scooping experience.